"the second miracle was the time spent with you" | ASPECTS GAME

[miraculess]

Warnings for violence, self harm, and suicide attempts and ideation.

(Also for overblown symbolism and the fact I am almost entirely winging this ;D)

Comments

SEE WHAT?? THERE WAS NOTHING TO SEE

[ofobedience]

[her pitiful tears open up a raw ugly wound in him and if she's not going to pull back he'll reach over and hold her bodily, press her against his chest. this isn't what he wanted to achieve. not at all]

[miraculess]

[ there's no resistance at all; she might as well be a very heavy, very wet rag doll. a rag doll that nevertheless turns her face so that when he pulls her close, it's only natural to tuck it against him, still mumbling half-coherent apologies into the vicinity of his neck ]

[ofobedience]

[it's a painful thing, seeing her like this, and all he feels he can do is keep her close, hold on to her, quietly shush the apologies and hope that his continued closeness can eventually soothe something in her]

[miraculess]

[ she does eventually wind down to a slow leak, snuffling wetly ]

...you deserve better...

[ofobedience]

[she can snuffle against him as long as she wants-- he isn't going anywhere]

I don't want better. I want you, as you are.

[miraculess]

[ a wordless protest in the form of a weak headbutt ]

[ofobedience]

[keeps hold of her, smiles very slightly, but he's not going to let her get away with it]

I mean it.

[miraculess]

I don't want you to end up like me.

[ofobedience]

I don't know how I'm going to end up.

[miraculess]

[ fists one hand loosely in his clothes ]

...I can't protect you from that. Shouldn't.

[ unsaid: "I want to." ]

[ofobedience]

[unsaid, but he knows it]

But you're here with me. You're pack leader. And that makes everything easier.

[it's the sense of belonging, being wanted-- it matters enough that perhaps it can outweigh everything else]

[miraculess]

[ butts her forehead against his collarbone again. ]

...why am I...?

[ofobedience]

You said I belonged to Larkspur. You've done things to protect me. You seem to care what happens to me. You're strong and you're brave, even though things are difficult for you too. Those things matter to me. A lot.

[miraculess]

[ time to start leaking again ]

That isn't... it isn't strength. It's... selfish.

[ofobedience]

How is it selfish?

[miraculess]

I don't want to be alone.

[ofobedience]

I don't think anyone wants to be alone.

[miraculess]

...not everybody knows they'll hurt the people they're with...

[ofobedience]

I don't exactly have the best track record with that, myself.